Black & Blue and sore all over

so I hurt my foot on Tuesday... did I say that before? Well I did... had a fight at 5 in the morning with the butcher block cover for the sink.. well yesterday consisted of "Take your child to work day" and I walked all over the plant with my friend Kelly and her two cutie nieces... I was "rent an-aunt" yesterday! We had so much fun but when they left I was so tired, my foot was sore and I had to recoup so I was in a somewhat okay shape to strip test in karate class! So a little before 5pm someone came on the loud speaker telling us to evacuate the building... I took my stuff and locked up my crib. After waiting what seemed like forever I finally left... it's was 5:45pm and I was sick of sitting outside and not be able to smoke (there were other people around so I couldn't just smoke if I wanted to) so I walked my ass down to karate class. The walk wasn't bad... I listened to my Ipod the whole way not paying much to anyone or anything except that one guy I crossed under the underpass, why did my stomach get all nervous I don't know but I didn't look down, I looked him straight in the face! Lesson One from karate, stare your possible attacker in the face, learn his facial features! If someone is thinking about attacking you and you can describe him 50% of attackers will not attack if they realize you looked at them. Then we passed, and part of me wanted him to grab my hair so I could go nuts on the asshole...but he wasn't an attacker, he was just a guy walking somewhere so I turned up my Ipod and kept walking.
Class was good, painful but good. I got my first strip on my brown belt, if my foot wasn't throbbing so much that tears were welling up in my eyes I think I would have smiled. I did my intensity form with power and my only mistake was my damm foot... I keep babying it, I do it without thinking so when I had to shift quickly into a deep forward bo, I lost my balance and had to regain control and jammed my right foot into the mat... in doing so I sent shocking pains up and down my leg, opps! The tears swell and I still am only half way through my form... I finish as quickly as possible, bow and sit my ass down, grab my foot and cry a little inside from the pain. My teacher told me I did well and he can see that I am in pain and it's good that I didn't just stop when it hurt b/c if someone were to attack me I need to be able to fight back, through the pain and get away. I was proud of myself but so much pain was disrupting my thought process. We went home and I iced my foot for almost an hour before finally going to sleep.

All in a day's work

Well the day started off well, the alarm went off and though I had woken up in the middle of the night I felt refreshed! I was actually feeling good. I go downstairs to make my tea and feed my kittens, I turn on the light and it doesn't turn on... I hate the lights in the house, you have to hit the glass for them to turn on! I don't know if it's the fixture or the lightbulbs or just me since it doesn't seem to happen to Eric. Well I tap the light and nothing so I go to turn on the sink light... it turns on and I pick up the kittens dish so I can get thier breakfast going and I stumble into the butcher block sink cover... down it goes to the floor (it was propped up against the cabinets) and it went right onto my foot! I scream, fall to the ground and clutch my foot for dear life. The pain is intense and it's shooting right threw my body like I got hit by a dump truck going 90. My poor kittens actually come to me to make sure I'm okay, or maybe they were just wondering why I wasn't washing out thier food dish... I guess that is one of life's mysteries. Well by the time I got back up to bed to wake Eric up I had a nice quater size black and blue on my foot... just under my ring and pinkie toes, nice uhh? Oh and just so you know... it's now about the size of well it looks like Florida without the bottom... lol I just touched my toes... they don't hurt all that much, maybe it's the motrin talking but maybe I broke some peda-carpels? Is that what they are even called? I'm the worst nursing school student, of course I learned all the bones like 10 years ago and haven't had to use them in over 8 years... if your hand is metacarpel, is the foot pedacarpels? umm well a trip to www.webmd.com has informed me that they are my metatarsals... hey I was close... where did I get carpel from when it's tarsals... is the hand also called tarsals? umm maybe. So after also stop blogging and reading the article I wonder if I should get this x-rayed... it is not my toes and it says that when breaking the metatarsals you have broken your foot... shoot, so I broke my foot? I do NOT want to go to the ER I haven't even finished paying for the last time! I have having a $500 deductible for the ER! so not fair!

On another note... Eric is going through his training classes at work... he's getting laid-off as of July 7th 2006, they are putting everyone through classes to prepare them for the job search and other things... well it's starting to hit him, I knew it was just a matter of time... I hate seeing him stress out, we have time and I have no doubt that he will find a wonderful job that he will truely love and be great in. But he's starting to let it sink in, he's loosing his job... his routine, his daily life... all that has gotten familar and comfortable in the last 4 years is going to be no more... the girls at Dunkin Donuts, Jay the coffee guy... the people he works with will turn into a distant memory of jobs he's had over his life. This is time for a new adventure, a new begining, a new start... for me it's exciting and I hope that Eric can also see it that way... hopefully in time, maybe when he starts looking for a job next month. He sent me a copy of his resume, work in progress, and I just smile... he's too cute! We need to find his old ones and add a few things that leave the brain from time to time about old jobs and accomplishments he has received.

I also created a digital scrapbook page today... I just felt a little creative so I opened up Adobe and got let my creative side go to work... let me know what you think... here you go

Monday... Manic Monday

"6 o'clock already, I was just in the middle of a dream I was kissing Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream But I can't be late cuz then I guess I just won't get paid These are the days when U wish your bed was already made "
I'm such an 80's girl at times... other times I get so sick of big hair bands and side ponytails and big layers... the Bangles look great, they were my favorite "chick" band way back in 80's-land.

I wanted to be them, I used to sing into my hairbrush and dream I was onstage infront of millions of screaming fans. Then my sister would throw a magazine or book at me and tell me to shut the hell up. umm childhood... it's fun to go back to it once in a while!

So Eric and I are seriously going to buy some paint! I think he's finally disgusted by the walls and wants nice clean COLORFUL walls in the rooms. Is this the right you ask... umm it could be better, but we're going to paint one room at a time and buy the paint once a month... so this month the kitchen is going to get done... it's the smallest room unless you count the hallway off the kitchen... that's like a 1/4 pint of something... lol I told DH we'll just use the extra of what we got, orange one wall, blue another, cream a third! HA HA HA my mother inlaw would FREAK THE HELL OUT! I already sent your a digitally altered photo of the living room with a black ceiling! yeah she thought it was real... that was so cool! But seriously, I can't wait to paint the damm house.. it's disgustingly dirty and nothing takes this dirt off... I've scrubbed and scrubbed and it doesn't even look like anything touched it! But I guess that is what happens when you don't wash the walls for years upon years upon years! But the thing is, I never noticed when we didn't live there... I didn't notice until we moved in and I noticed they 2' tall dirt marks on each opening wall of the house... the stairs have got to be the most disgusting of all the walls... it's a good 3' X 2' wide dirt mark on either side of the stairs... like someone purposely played in the dirt and then wiped thier hands, arms, face, neck, and legs onto the walls... yuck, it gives me the shivers just thinking about it. YUCK!

So we saw Silent Hill this weekend... so not worth the money! I thought it was going to be a really scary movie... it was okay... a decent movie but NOTHING like the game... the graphics were okay.. they really could have done so much with that movie, but instead they just let it go through half -ass. oh well. We also bought Hostel and though scarier and gorrier (is that a word?) than Silent Hill, it was another disapointment on the horror factor... not all that bad... but we got a free movie with Hostal called Human Hunting, about a serial killer who kills other serial killers... that will probably be cheap, bad acting but scary as hell!

Left Field

So I started a cafepress store... silly stuff mostly but I just added a ton of "stuff" here's the link http://www.cafepress.com/jensubmarine
so today I feel out in left field... I'm just kinda out of it today. On the plus side, I got my period which means no babies in the next 9 months for us! woohoo! Even though I want to be a mother in the near future, having a husband loose his job really puts a damper on the thought. So I really wasn't sure, since I know it was a possiblity that we could but since I'm 8 days late, I ovulated late and so by the time I ovulated we were using condoms... but 8 days ago I didn't know when I Oed so I was kinda nervous... never before in my life, except the first time I got my period (i was almost 20yrs old!), was I so happy to feel cramps! And let me tell you I FELT them! OH my god I thought I was going to hurl so many times today, the pain was horrible and a few times I wish I was pregnant so I don't have to experience that pain! This coming from the women who wants to have a natural no drugs birth! LOL Not a quiet one, don't think I'm a science freak like TomKat... I plan on yelling and screaming and grunting but I'm going to try not to swear to much but I really want to be drug free.... I really feel strongly about this.

So at work, I'm only half here today... I sometimes wish I didn't have to work, I get bored with work... this isn't what I want to do for a living, I enjoy the people I work with for the most part. But I don't have a drive to do anything here. There is no advancement in this job for someone of the female race. There is one women in a mangement postion and I truely believe they feel like they have met thier quota and have no plans of ever advancing another women. That makes me loose my joy and drive for this job. It is truely said at how badly they fill a quota in this world... we have ONE black women, ONE Hispanic man, ONE Asian descent Man and One Black man in a supervisors postion... the rest of us smucks are white. That's it... it's like they fill their quota and that's it, no one can say they are racist or anything... and they don't fire anyone who "fills their quota" even if they do such a horrible job that the person needs to and should be fired. They just allow them to screw things up to the point of no return and beyond.

And now to add a little happiness to my post... here is one of my favorite shots from Disney World.

So I gotta try loading a photo

I didn't think it was this easy so I haven't tried! I love photography, it's a big hobby of mine.
This is my baby girl Maggie... she's the most precious kitten I've ever met. She got her eye removed earlier this year, lost it due to an infection when she was rescued as a tiny kitten. COOL I can post photos! If my husband ever calls me, he got out of work at 6pm, it's now 6:33pm, I will be all excited to tell him!

I drove the car

Yesterday I used my handy dandy credit card and paid my $1026 dollars I owe Rhode Island Trafic Tribunal... I did it via the phone and when I hung up the phone, I smiled... wow I'm becoming responsible! lol so Eric picked me up at work and before karate class we went to St. Paul's Church in Glastonbury... he got out and I got in... the brakes are super touchy and it took me a while to get used to them, but I think I did pretty well. I wasn't as nervous as I was when I was learning how to drive the electric buggy at work... but the whole thought of driving scares the crap out of me, to be blunt, I'm afraid of getting hit, I'm afraid of being to close to cars... the thought of the highway makes me sick to my stomach. But I will conquer these fears and move on... I need to drive, I need to be able to get here and there when needed. We need two drivers.

I've been tired

I don't know why, my tank feels like it's almost on empty, I just can't get enough sleep sometimes. I'm sure it has to do with Eric loosing his job in July and Easter dinner, which is now over... but money freaks me out. Spending it, saving it, having it, not having it. It all freaks me out! It's a love hate relationship I think!
CRAP! I forgot to set the VCR again... yet another week of not seeing my favorite show, the Gilmore Girls, someday we will get a Tivo or DVD-R and I'll be able to set my shows to record and not have to worry about getting a blank tape to record on!
Other than that nothing much going on, I'm nervous, I'm on cycle day 34... I might buy a test tonight to "just make sure" everything is okay... I'm assuming I would be puking and having other pregnant side effects if I were, I think the birth control pills really screwed up my cycle big time!

Daily Blog... How dedicated can I become?

A daily blog for someone who is not a writer, who is not big on writing at all.... A blog for someone who has horrible spelling... ummm this could be the start of a very interesting tale of joys and fears, laughs and cries. This is my life, 29 and married to my love but with love their is pain, annoyance and bothersome details. I love my husband, I love him for all his strengths and I love him for all his faults but sometimes his faults piss the shit of me and I scream, yell and just get so unhappy with him. We have two furry babies and a shell-baby... My furry babies are Maggie, a beautiful black Arbassisen cat and Murphy her brother but he is much more Ozi-Cat... He is meat and beefy and she is slender and princess like. They are spoiled rotten, they know it and I love it! My shell-baby is Zues, my beautiful russian tortoise whom was here before the cats and is actually almost as old as me! He's about 20 years old and we got him back in 2000 when my husband and I were dating just shy of a year and we had already moved in together! He doesn't do much... He eats when I feed him and he likes walking around the house when I let him... Not so much since we got the kittens.